The King of Gee-Whiz Read online

  Something's sure to happen-- Oh, what will it be? Something, something, something Keeps on warning me. I quiver and I shiver, I shake and shake again-- Something's sure to happen! What? And how? And when?

  She found several strange-looking boxes _Page 4_]

  CHAPTER V

  THE GEE-WHIZ SUBMARINE EXPRESS

  The Widow Pickle kept studying over matters and things as she combed theTwins' hair with the blue and green combs. She began to think, as agreat many widows do, that after all her husband had perhaps been a verywonderful man, and better than she had thought at the time. She wishedvery much, as many widows do, that her husband were alive again for afew moments. She wished to ask him just one more question. We need notexplain what that question would have been, for any one could guess thatit would have been in regard to Chemical Substances.

  At last, she arose and went to the glass door of the cupboard and beganlooking carefully behind the dishes on the shelves. At length she saw alittle box, which she had not noticed before.

  "Aha!" cried the Widow Pickle, "I am sure this is the powder which youmean. Is it not so, little man?"

  The latter refused either to speak or to make any sign.

  "I will try it, anyhow," said the Widow Pickle. So she poured some ofthe powder from this box upon a plate and began touching a lighted matchto it. To her great surprise, the powder burst out into a cloud ofsmoke, and when the smoke had cleared away, she saw, lying upon theplate, a small but perfect little ship, the like of which she had neverseen before in all her life. It was something like a steamboat, exceptthat it was covered over entirely with glass. At the stern it had alarge wheel, evidently to make it go, and it had other wheels along thebottom, like feet upon a sofa. Its bow was curved up and backwardsharply, something like the front of a sled, and its sides were gentlyrounded so that it could slip along easily. The deck was quite roofedover by this curved-glass shield, for what reason the Widow could nottell. Indeed, although she guessed at once that this was a boat of somesort, she could not tell what sort it was.

  "Well, I'd like to know--" began the Widow Pickle.

  "What was it you were about to inquire, my good woman?" asked thePrivate Secretary.

  "Why, what should I inquire, my good man," replied the Widow, "if not toask what is this thing here on the plate?"

  "That, madam," said the Private Secretary, "is a boat."

  "A boat? A boat?"

  The Private Secretary nodded.

  "Can't you read the name?" he asked.

  So the Widow Pickle peered closely through her glasses and saw thatthere was a name printed in small shining letters on one end of theboat. "The Gee-Whiz Submarine Express!" cried the Widow. "But, alack!how small it is. Why, it is not as long as my foot, and I was alwaysthought in my time to have a very small foot, too!"

  The Private Secretary smiled in a knowing manner.

  "Perhaps, mamma," said Zuzu, "you have overlooked something in someother box."

  "Zuzu, you have a good mind for one so young," said his mother. "I willlook in the cupboard again." So again she began rummaging around, and atlength she found another box, a square one, covered over with dust,showing that it had not been opened for a long time. The first box hadheld a pale-blue powder, but this one was filled nearly to the lid witha light-green powder. On the top of this box, written in the hand ofAurelius Pickle, was the inscription, "Magic Powder of Gee-Whiz." Whenthe Widow Pickle saw this, she gave an exclamation of joy.

  CHAPTER VI

  THE JOURNEY THROUGH THE AIR

  "Hurry, hurry, mamma!" cried the Twins. "Let us go."

  "But how can we go?" asked the Widow Pickle of the Private Secretary, asshe stood holding the second box of powder in her hand.

  "I suggest, madam," said the Private Secretary, "that you might put alittle of the first powder, the blue one, in the engine."

  The Widow Pickle placed a pinch of the pale-blue powder upon a certainportion of the little boat, and, to her great surprise, it began to growbefore her eyes.

  It grew and it grew, slowly but steadily, until it was large enough foreither of the Twins to get into. In a moment more it would have been toolarge to pass out of the window; and as the Widow Pickle saw this, shewas about to brush off the rest of the powder.

  "Stop!" cried the Private Secretary. "The window will not make theslightest difference in the world. Quick, madam! Get in with the secondbox, or it will be too late."

  Indeed, the engine inside the boat now began to churn, and a strange,brilliant sort of blue smoke began to hiss at the spouts near the wheel.The boat, for such it can be called, began to crawl on its feet acrossthe floor toward the window. The Private Secretary grasped the EnchantedBanjo and with a bound sprang into the boat. The Widow, holding on tothe remaining box of powder, and grasping the Twins also with the otherhand, sprang aboard quickly. The Private Secretary then snapped down theglass all around.

  To her great surprise, the Widow Pickle found the boat quite largeenough for all four of them, and even as she settled down comfortably inher seat the boat rose slowly and, with a slight hissing of the strangeblue steam at the wheel, it passed directly out and through the window,just as though it were not there, and sailed off across the tops of thetall buildings toward the sea.

  "Oh, Mr. Secretary," cried the Widow Pickle, "how very much startled Iam!"

  "Madam," replied the Private Secretary, "there is no need to bestartled. It is very well, however, that you got the second box fromamong the Chemical Substances of the late Aurelius Pickle."

  "Why should that be so?" asked the Widow. "You must remember that I amin the dark about many of these things. It seems very strange to me tobe thus flying off across the city. For all we know, we may dropdirectly into the sea before long."

  "That is true," said the Private Secretary, chuckling. "In fact, that isprecisely what we shall do within two minutes. And that is the reason Iam glad you have the green powder with you. That, you must understand,is our fuel for water travel; for without that we could not possibly getup any green steam, and surely you must know that with a boat of thisparticular kind, blue steam may be all very well for the air, but it isof no service whatever under the water."

  "That," said the Widow Pickle, "seems a most singular thing."

  "Many things which now seem strange to you," replied the PrivateSecretary, "will presently seem quite natural. You must remember to puta little of the green powder under the boiler the moment we strike thewater; but whatever you do, you must not put the green powder in beforewe reach the water."

  "Why, what will happen then?" asked Zuzu.

  "You would better not try to find out," said the Private Secretary,smiling. "But now, madam, first put in a little more of the blue powder.I see we are passing near the moon, and, if I mistake not, the face ofthe moon is unusually clean to-night. I see that little Lucy Green hasbeen at work. You do not know how that can be? Perhaps the EnchantedBanjo will tell you. Put it together, my dears, and see if it will not."

  So Lulu and Zuzu held the Banjo as before, and to their great surpriseit told them how the moon had its face cleaned.

  LITTLE LUCY GREEN

  Oh, have you never heard the reason why the moon is clean? Once on a time there was a girl whose name was Lucy Green; She saw the moon was dirty and was very far from bright, She raised her hands in horror, and exclaimed: "My, what a sight!" And then she got some polish, and a ladder, and she climbed Till she reached the moon that drifted, spotted, dusty, and begrimed.

  UP! clum' she and clim' she Oh,

  Then she scoured the moon with polish and she cleaned it of its rust, And she took a cloth and rubbed it till it hadn't any dust; And the good old moon grew happy when its face began to shine And the little girl was merry, and she said: "Now, you look fine!" Then she took her can of polish, and her cloth, and then she found That the moo
nbeams made her ladder seem like gold from sky to ground.

  Oh, she clim' and she clum' DOWN!

  Sailing by the Moon]

  CHAPTER VII

  THE JOURNEY THROUGH THE WATER

  "Now we will drop down from the sky a way," said the little dark man,"and I hope soon to show you some other interesting things. But, madam,you must be ready to throw the green powder into the engine the moment Itell you to do so."

  Even as he spoke, the boat began to descend, and now struck the waterwith a soft splash. "Quick! the green powder now!" cried the little darkman. At that instant, the Widow Pickle tossed a pinch of the greenpowder into the furnace door, and, to her great surprise, the littleship settled down gently, the steam changed from blue to green in color,and the wheels began to turn around with a motion which sent the boatforward very quickly.

  "Mamma, mamma," cried Zuzu, "we are sinking! Look! We are going down!"

  Lulu also was very much excited, but the Private Secretary smilinglyreassured them.

  "Of course," he said. "Did you suppose the Gee-Whiz Express would runupon the top of the water like any ordinary steamboat? Any one can builda boat like that."

  "But we'll all be drowned," cried the Widow Pickle.

  "Not in the least," said the Private Secretary. "We are five hundredfeet beneath the surface of the sea at this present moment, and if wewere going to be drowned we should have begun to feel strange long ago.Evidently, madam, you forgot the glass which covers us over. We can seethrough it distinctly, but it won't let any water in. I am sure we shallenjoy our voyage very much. Moreover, we have with us the EnchantedBanjo, and it will play for us whenever the Royal Heirs are so good asto assist it."

  The Banjo seemed to be in a jolly mood as well as the Royal Heirs, foras soon as the Twins grasped it together it rattled off at once into thefollowing jingle:

  SONG OF THE ENCHANTED BANJO

  Once I was but a banjo of the ordinary sort Until a minstrel played me for the pleasure of the court, And quite by accident he struck the sweet and simple tune The Fairies love the dearest when they dance beneath the moon. Oh, it was most amazing, when to every one's surprise The Queen of all the Fairies came to view before their eyes!

  They gazed upon the Fairy Queen, and she smiled back at them She wore a robe of woven gold, with silver on the hem, Her wings were set with diamonds and made of golden gauze, And she was quite the finest Fairy Queen that ever was. She stopped before the royal court and held her place alone, Then bowed and gracefully sat down before the Royal Throne.

  The Fairy Queen then waved her wand; the minstrel stepped away, And I, suspended in the air, at once began to play; I played them all the Fairy tunes that ever have been made, And everybody knew the words to everything I played. I played before the Fairy Queen, and did my best, you see-- And therefore I enchanted her, then she enchanted me.

  "Now let's play we are pirates!" cried Zuzu.

  "Very well," said the Private Secretary. "The Banjo knows that a greatmany people feel like playing pirate, so perhaps it will sing of one ortwo." The Banjo then played for them the following melody:

  THE PIRATICAL JUNE-BUG

  A June-bug once went out to sea-- Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!-- With sails aspread and helm alee-- Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho! He had a long, low, rakish boat; He wore a shining overcoat; He hummed and grumbled in his throat-- Yo-ho! the wild winds blow!

  This bold June-bug he said, said he:-- "Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho! A pirate's life is the life for me! Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!" He roamed about the ocean blue And bossed his rumbling, stumbling crew, And sought for wicked things to do. Yo-ho, the wild winds blow!

  Now when a June-bug heaves in sight-- Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho! You'll notice it is full of fight-- Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho! When it sails by, with curve and dip, And strikes the wall with bang and "bip!" It's dreaming of its pirate ship-- Yo-ho, the wild winds blow! Yo-ho! Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!

  The submarine boat went ahead very rapidly all this time, dropping downuntil at length it struck the bottom at a depth of several thousandfeet. Fortunately, it landed at a place where there was smooth, whitesand so that no damage was done; and it at once began to run along thebottom of the sea.

  "I would rather go on through the water the way we were," said Lulu,"and not on the bottom, for I find it much more bumpy in this way."

  "True," said the Private Secretary, "but by journeying upon the bottomwe are not so apt to get lost as though we tried to go directly throughthe water. If you will observe, we are now following the main traveledroad to the Island of Gee-Whiz, and if all goes well we shall hardlylose our way. I need not explain to you that to be lost in the middle ofthe ocean, two or three thousand feet below the surface, is one of theworst things that can happen to a person. But don't think we are goingslowly, because we are making at least a hundred miles an hour, as youmay tell by looking at the scenery we pass."

  "And very beautiful the scenery is," said the Widow Pickle. "Look, mychildren, at the trees and the hills; and yonder is a high mountain allof coral, if I am not mistaken."

  "Quite right," said the Private Secretary. "This is one of the bestplaces in the world for coral beads, and if we had time we could get allwe wished."

  "Look, look, mamma!" cried Lulu, "isn't that a whale?"

  The Widow Pickle stopped to put on her glasses, and the PrivateSecretary answered for her. "Yes," said he, "that is a whale, and a verygood one. See, it means to swim us a race."

  The great whale was now swimming alongside, its vast jaws workingconvulsively, and its tail in such rapid motion that long white sparksflew from its extremity.

  "Poor fellow," said the Private Secretary, "he thinks, as you do, thatwe are not going very fast. See him perspire! I can tell him now that hemight as well drop behind, for the Gee-Whiz Submarine Express is muchthe fastest thing that swims the deep."

  "But what is that out there, mamma?" cried Zuzu, whose nose was pressedflat against the glass.

  "That," said the Widow Pickle, "is something so strange that I have notthe slightest idea what it may be."

  "It is a Flying Nautilus," explained the Private Secretary, "a verybeautiful creature, which has wings like sails, but it can not sail withus; and yonder, I see, is a Goroo; but even the Goroo will find that wego too fast for it."

  The Goroo now swam alongside for some time. It was a long, slendermonster, with a body something like that of a snake and a long, taperinghead, from which two horns arose and fell back gracefully over itsshoulders. Its eyes were very large and prominent, and it had four orfive fierce whiskers on each side of its mouth, all of which were brightpink in color. It had twelve fins along its back, which enabled it toswim very rapidly indeed.

  "The Goroo," said the Private Secretary, "is often by mortals called asea-serpent, and this fact causes us who live in Gee-Whiz considerableamusement, because we know that it is not a sea-serpent, but a Goroo. Itwould eat a man if it had a chance, but it can not harm us so long as weare in the boat.

  "See," he continued, "that short fat-looking animal we have just passedis a Calabite, a very rare and odd fish, which lives entirely upon freshoysters. It cracks the oyster shells with its long teeth, just as you dohazelnuts, and it eats so many that often fishermen wonder where alltheir oysters have gone. If the truth were known, it would very probablybe found a Calabite had eaten them.

  "That large creature with a long mane and six legs on each side," heresumed, "is a Talapud, a creature never seen in any menagerie, so faras I know. It can travel very fast indeed, but though it has six legs oneach side, it is very lazy, so that it rarely exerts its full speed. Weshall, no doubt, pass it easily.

  "There, also, is a Naugalook, that bird-like thing, which also swimswith wings instead of fins. As you see, it has a very w
ide and cruelbeak, and many a fish it eats each year. It is the eagle of the sea, andvery dangerous to meet unarmed, on account of its great size andferocity.

  "The Waugog, as you may observe, is a sort of turtle. There are two justcoming out of their holes; stupid things, who think of nothing buteating, and can travel scarcely faster than a turtle upon the land. Afull-grown Waugog is as large as a church, and should we run against oneat full speed, it would jar the boat very much. You will see, madam,that travel underneath the sea is not without interest."

  "I should say not," said the Widow Pickle; "quite the opposite, indeed,and I am very glad to have my children thus improve their education."

  "There is one thing I should like to ask," said Zuzu, "and I have oftenwondered about it."

  "And what is that?" asked the Private Secretary.

  "I wonder how the fishes ever go to sleep."

  "She scoured the moon with polish" _Page 26_]

  "That," replied the Private Secretary, "is something over which manywise men have also wondered. I have often heard the Banjo on our seajourneys express the same curiosity. Perhaps it will tell us aboutthat."

  At his suggestion the Banjo sang a little song.

  HOW THE LITTLE FISHES SLEEP

  I often wonder how and where The little fishes sleep; They do not need to braid their hair Before they slumber deep, But possibly each little fish Puts on a little gown And goes to bed--and Oh, I wish I knew where it lies down.