The King of Gee-Whiz Page 3

  I wonder if it tumbles round And kicks the covers off And wakes at every little sound, Or--does it have a cough? I think it would, for mamma says, When she turns down my lamp I'll get the croup one of these days From staying in the damp.

  But maybe little fishes go To sleep as you or I; Waves rock the cradle to and fro And sing a bye-lo-bye. If they wear gowns, though--goodness me! When washing-day is here Where do they dry things in the sea? I wish you'd make that clear!

  How the Fishes Sleep]

  "Humph! The Banjo doesn't seem to know any more about it than we do,"said Zuzu, not fully satisfied.

  "No," the Private Secretary replied; "that is true; but for some ofthese hard questions we may have to go to the Fairies for answer, and itis some distance yet before we get anywhere near the Fairy country."

  "How far have we gone now, sir?" asked Zuzu.

  "That," replied the Private Secretary, "is difficult to explain, for youmust see that we do not measure distances as you do. However, I shouldthink it would take us perhaps three or four more of what you call yourhours before we are within sight of the Island of Gee-Whiz. We mustfirst pass the Agalone Mountains. Indeed, it seems to me that I see thatmountain range now beginning to appear before us."

  The Goroo]

  CHAPTER VIII

  THE EXPLOSION OF THE SUBMARINE EXPRESS

  "We must be sure to strike the right road through the AgaloneMountains," said the Private Secretary, peering out through the glass,"because a great many boats get lost hereabouts in the long and windingpath. Even were it possible for any mortal to get thus far toward ourcountry, it would be very difficult to trace the way through the AgaloneMountains, which are very high and precipitous indeed. Moreover, torender the road even more difficult to follow, we occasionally havethese mountains moved a few hundred leagues from side to side, so thatnot even the boldest mariner from your country could tell a thing aboutit if he tried to follow us."

  "It is a wonder to me that no one has ever found this Island ofGee-Whiz," said the Widow Pickle.

  "Believe me, madam, it is practically impossible," replied the PrivateSecretary. "Many have sought to discover the Island of Gee-Whiz onaccount of its great riches, but no one has ever yet done so. Were itnot for the fact that these Twins, the Prince and Princess, havecorazine and malazite hair, it is scarcely likely that you yourselfwould ever have seen our Island.

  "But now," he resumed, "it is nearly time I should go aloft and lookahead. To me it seems that these mountains do not look so entirelyfamiliar as they should."

  "Go aloft?" inquired the Widow. "How can you go aloft? Do you mean tothe surface of the sea?"

  "Of course," said the Private Secretary. "I can see the Island at a muchgreater distance from the surface of the sea. As for going aloft, thatis perfectly simple. I set this pole in the holes which run up and downthrough the top and bottom of the boat, like the place for a mast in asail-boat, and I then attach the clutches of this machine here to thepole and set the engine going up and down instead of backward andforward. In that way, as you shall presently see, the boat will begin toclimb up the pole, like a boy after birds' nests. But now, madam, let merequest you to stand near the furnace door; and when I give the word,put in a pinch more of the green powder to keep up the steam, for it isfar harder to climb straight up than it is to go straight ahead, for theboat is flat on top and not pointed as it is at the end."

  As the Private Secretary spoke, he arranged the clutches of themachinery as he had said, and, to their great surprise, the boat beganto climb up the pole at a rate which left no doubt that they would verysoon be at the surface of the sea.

  "Now," cried the Private Secretary, "put in the powder, quick!"

  The Widow Pickle, in a great hurry, took a pinch of powder and cast itunder the grate as she had done before. This was where she made a greatmistake, which afterward brought upon her much criticism; for, insteadof putting in the green powder, which belonged to the sea, in her hurryshe cast in a pinch of the blue powder, which was correct for use in theair, but not in the water. As she did this, at once there was a blindingcloud of smoke and a deafening explosion, which shook the sea like avolcanic eruption. The boat flew quite to pieces, as though it had beenbuilt of cardboard. In a moment, they were blown violently into the airbeyond the surface of the ocean.

  The Explosion]

  CHAPTER IX

  THE ARRIVAL AT THE ISLAND

  As the boat was blown from under them, the passengers thought the endhad come and that they must be drowned far beneath the sea; and only thegreat skill and presence of mind of the Private Secretary preventedtheir meeting this fate. But as they were starting upward, carried bythe violence of the explosion, the Private Secretary caught at the rackwhere the life-preservers were hanging, and so saved their lives. Asthey reached the surface he handed each a life-preserver, and soon theywere all swimming safely on the surface of a placid green sea.

  "Madam," said the Private Secretary sternly, "that we are not all killedis no fault of yours. Such carelessness deserves the utmost punishment,for now our boat is gone."

  "I am innocent," cried the Widow Pickle, "for I did just what you toldme to do, I am sure. I threw in the powder; and indeed it seems to methat was what made the explosion."

  "Precisely," said the Private Secretary. "You put in the wrong powder.You used the malazite instead of the corazine--I know it as well asthough I had seen you do it myself."

  "That is quite true," said the Widow Pickle, "but I thought--"

  "It is of no consequence what you thought," said the Private Secretary."But, for that matter, it is of no use to argue over it now. We arehere, and lucky it is we are not drowned. Happily for us, we have beenblown some miles forward on our way, quite over the Agalone Mountains,and shall be able to swim the remaining distance without trouble. Yonderare the shores of the Island now, only about a mile away."

  It was as he said. They swam after him, and soon there appeared a widewhite beach, flanked with stately palms, among which they saw rising thewhite towers and domes of a stately city. Toward this they swam asvigorously as they might, and in course of time stepped upon the hardwhite sand of the beach and knew that their journey was over.

  "I am very sorry that we lost the boat," said the Widow Pickle, "but Iam extremely glad that we are here, for I couldn't have swum anothermile to save my life. My life-preserver belt was very tight. But what apretty spot this is! I am sure we shall like this place very muchindeed, and I am glad we came. Look, is not that some one coming downthe beach to meet us?"

  "That," said the Private Secretary, "is none less than his Majestyhimself, the King of Gee-Whiz!"

  The Naugalook]

  CHAPTER X

  THE KING OF GEE-WHIZ

  As the King approached them, it was easy to see that he was indeed avery important person; for all the people fell down upon their facesbefore him and made a slow deep salutation, much as though you shouldsay "Ah-h-h!" in this way, with a very deep breath. To this respectfulgreeting the Monarch made no return whatever. The Widow Pickle noticedthis.

  "I see that you are not fully acquainted with Monarchs," said thePrivate Secretary, "or at least I should say with Monarchs such as ours.At times he is even more absent-minded than he now appears. I haveknown him to order half a dozen of his best friends to be banished forsome slight offense, and then to forget it before luncheon of that sameday, and ask for them again, just as though nothing had happened."

  "That," said the Widow Pickle, "seems to me a very unusual sort of thingto do. I should like to see him banish me if I did not feel like beingbanished at the time!"

  "You will pardon me," said the Private Secretary, "but it appears to methat you must be an extraordinarily ignorant person, for banishingpersons, or even cutting off their heads, in a fit of absent-mindedness,is a part of the daily routine of any truly royal king, and his loyalsubjects are very fond of both. If they were not, they could not becalle
d truly loyal subjects; and what is the use of being a subjectunless one is a truly loyal subject, madam?"

  "That," said the Widow Pickle, "is a very difficult question."

  "I thought you would find it such," replied the Private Secretary. "Buttell me, is not our King a very royal person? And I may add that he isas kindly a king as ever sat on a throne. Once in a while, he doessomething which indicates a slight loss of temper; but how could youblame him, with his poor stomach, and with his love affair with theFairy Queen, as well, to trouble him? It is quite enough to upset anyking in the world, I am sure."

  "His stomach?" said the Widow Pickle. "And the Fairy Queen? Well, thepoor King, after all, may be quite like other men. I remember that mypoor dear husband, Aurelius Pickle, used to have just such times withhis stomach. Why, at times, he could eat nothing in the world but someof my Waffles."

  "Your Waffles? What are those?" asked the Private Secretary. "Are theyanything new?"

  "Well, I can't say as to that," replied the Widow Pickle, "for mygrandmother taught me how to make them. But I may say with some pridethat the Governor of our State once ate of my Waffles and asked for twomore, and in my family that was considered very high praise, indeed. Ishould like to try one on your King, if he is troubled with hisstomach."

  "That might be quite a fine idea," said the Private Secretary, "and ifyou don't object, I shall place the matter before his Royal Highness. Ihave never seen this that you call a Waffle, but if it will make theKing forget his royal trouble it may be very much better for him and forall the rest of us."

  "I should be very glad, indeed, to be of any slight assistance that Imay," said the Widow Pickle modestly.

  "But, hush!" whispered the Private Secretary. "He is coming this way.May I suggest that just as he steps across that white line which you seemarked upon the ground, you make him a deep reverence? I think you callit a courtesy in your country."

  "Very well," said the Widow Pickle, "but I shall do no more thancourtesy, and shall not make it too deep even in that case, for I myselfcome of a very proud family."

  "Hush!" whispered the Private Secretary again. And now the King cameforward, fixing upon them the keen glance of his royal eye. Seeing this,Lulu and Zuzu grasped their mother's gown in their hands and shrank backbehind her, much frightened. The Private Secretary bowed flat upon theground and began to say "Ah-h-h!" very fast.

  The Widow courtesied as she was bid, looking up at the King. Indeed, shewas willing to declare the King most extraordinary in appearance. He wasabout six feet or more in height, and very dark in complexion, almostcoffee-brown in color, indeed. His hair, which was of a brightbrick-dust red, was profuse, and stuck out around his head in a sort offringe to the extent of two or three feet on each side. In his nose hewore a large ring, and his teeth shone as he opened his mouth, for ineach tooth was set a fine large diamond. On his fingers were rings ofhighly-shining precious stones, like emeralds and diamonds and rubies,with others whose names the Widow could not guess. The King wore agarland of flowers about his neck, and carried in his hand a war club orheavy cane made of dark wood, with a large gold knob at the end, and setthickly with shining stones about the handle. His feet were clad inbright-red slippers, whose points turned up nearly to his knees. A richcloak of spotted fur hung across his shoulders, although the climate wasso warm that he really was in small need of fur; so he allowed it tofall back carelessly, confining it with a cord, which latter passedaround his chest and shoulders. Around his neck also was hung a broadcollar of cloth or leather, which was set as thick as it could hold withall manner of brilliant, shining stones. It was plainly to be seen thatthe Island of Gee-Whiz was a land very rich indeed in precious metalsand gems, for the like of this display of gold and gems was never beforeseen in any country. As the Widow Pickle looked, she wondered where allthese rich stones and all this gold came from; and mentally she made aresolution to discover this before very many days had passed.

  CHAPTER XI

  THE ROYAL HEREDITARY TWINS

  "Madam," said the King, "who are you, if I may ask, and why do theseyoung persons hide behind you? Let us have no delays and no excuses. Ifwe are to get on in the least pleasantly, I beg you of all things toremember that I am King. And I need hardly state that the King ofGee-Whiz is something of a Monarch, if I may so express it."

  "If it please your Majesty," said the Widow Pickle, "I am a Widow, andcome from foreign parts."

  "That," rejoined the King, "is a claim of no special distinction, forthere are very many widows who come from foreign parts. Pray, whateveryou do, don't bore me, for I am very easily bored, and when I am bored Iam very bored indeed, as you will readily perceive a true King must be."

  "That I can easily understand," said the Widow, "but I hope that myTwins will not bore you. Come, my children, and make your bow to theKing."

  In truth, it must be said that the Widow Pickle was more frightened atthe King than she thought she was going to be.

  "Yes," said the King, "let us see what your children look like."

  At this, very much frightened, Zuzu and Lulu came out from behind theirmother and bowed very low before the King, and they had the presence ofmind to make the sound "Ah-h-h!" between their teeth as the PrivateSecretary and others had done. The King was pleased at this. But, at thenext moment, he sprang back with an exclamation of surprise.

  "What!" said he, "what is that I see? Is it possible that we have heretwo young persons with the Royal Hereditary Hair in true malazite blueand royal corazine green? Why, bless my soul and body, not since thereign of Gee-Whiz the Twelfth has a true double instance of this kind ofhair been found in all our kingdom!"

  "Do you like their hair, your Majesty?" asked the Widow Pickle.

  "What a question!" exclaimed the King. "How can I help liking it? Didnot the Royal Queen Mother of our family three thousand years ago haveblue hair; and her husband, the reigning monarch, green? My dear madam,I look upon this as the most fortunate thing that has occurred during myentire reign. If I am not very much mistaken, we shall hear of strangeand wonderful things before long."

  "I am glad you like their hair," said the Widow Pickle proudly,"although I must say that in our country neither was considered afashionable color."

  "Yours must be a very strange country," said the King of Gee-Whiz, "andyou must have associated with extraordinarily ignorant persons, not toknow that blue and green are the finest colors in the world for hair.Really, never in my life have I seen such a delicate shade as this. I amso delighted that I shall at once, in accordance with the law of theIsland, have this Prince and Princess measured for a brand-new throneeach. Moreover, they shall each have one of the Fairy Wishing Wands,which are a part of the royal property. Whatever they wish they shallhave three times a week--but of course no more, for that would not belawful."

  "Certainly not," said the Widow Pickle, although she did not in theleast understand what all this was about.

  "As to yourself, madam," resumed the Monarch, "although you claim to bethe mother of these children, I do not observe that your own hair showsany token of the royal colors. In short, it is somewhat the color of myown. I regret to state that my hair, although once of a royal tint, wasbleached by a sudden exposure to the sun by a careless nurse when I wasyoung." He smiled sadly, but soon recovered. "This, however, shall nothappen to this young Prince and Princess," he said, "for they shall haveroyal umbrellas and attendants to carry them when they walk abroad.

  "Let me think," went on the King. "I forget what I was about to say. WasI going to banish you, my dear madam, or have you beheaded? Jiji, get upand tell me what I was going to say."

  At this, the Private Secretary, who had been prostrate with his faceupon the ground all this time, arose very quickly.

  "Your Majesty," said he, "let me suggest that you neither banish norbehead this good lady. Her husband was a very remarkable man, a dealerin Chemical Substances. It was in this way, as I am assured, that hediscovered the means of making a very wonderful dish known as t
heWaffle, which is considered to be a sovereign cure for what are calledthe high crimes and misdemeanors of the Royal Stomach."

  They knew that their journey was over _Page 43_]

  "It was not my husband," began the Widow Pickle indignantly; but thePrivate Secretary, bowing low, stepped in front of her, wriggling hishands behind him very hard.

  "Her husband, your Majesty," said he quickly, "was a wonderful man. Ihave myself seen one of these Waffles, and they are extraordinarily fineto look upon, although I have never eaten one. That is reserved forroyalty alone."

  "I have eaten them often," exclaimed Zuzu.

  "That," said the King, "is not remarkable, my dear, because youevidently are of royal blood. But, madam, tell me where can I get one ofthese Waffles to eat?"

  "That," said the Widow Pickle, "is very easy, if you will but get me aWaffle-iron and permit me to build a fire here in front of the palace."

  The King turned to the Private Secretary. "Jiji," said he, "get her aWaffle-iron at once. If there is no such thing, have it made by theroyal smiths. Pray, madam, what is a Waffle-iron made of?"

  "Of iron, your Majesty."

  "That is too bad," said the King. "We have no such precious metal asthat. I suppose we shall have to make it out of gold. Do you mind if wemake it of gold?"

  "I never saw one of gold, your Majesty," replied the Widow Pickle, "butperhaps I could make out with it." In her heart she was thinking that ifshe ever told her friends she had baked Waffles on a gold Waffle-iron,they certainly would not believe her; but we can easily see how muchmistaken her friends would have been in that case.